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Tight, tight, loose, loose


The infinite self is here now. And what I do with that self is up to me. How I approach it. How I relate to it. How ii see it and myself within it.

For most of my life I have been trying to “get it right.” Maybe you can relate. First it was in the material world of doing al the things I thought I needed to have a good life. Then it was in the spiritual world trying to “follow my guidance,” and do the right thing. Lest I do the wrong thing, and the whole world falls down on me. This is more of the same. When I came to the spiritual path I brought my ego with me. Therefore I started behaving much the same way, just with a spiritual notion.
Don’ get me wrong. I see a lot of truth in that, the spirituality of life. But as with most things, I feel the truth is somewhere in the middle. Tight, tight loose, loose as the buddhists say.

I am in this physical body and it must be cared for. I cannot rely on simply faith to feed my body, clothe my body, and shelter my body. I must rely on my own will. My own intellect. And my own foresight based on things that have happened from the past, and that I have learned from watching other people.

Likewise, my spiritual intuition is a gift from God. A gift of higher foresight, and reading between the lines that would not be able to be done with ordinary sight. It is a gift of Grace.


The medicine of the buffalo is grounded spirituality. It teaches us how to ground our visions into reality through right prayer and right action. You can’t have one without the other. Both are equally necessary for a grounded and connected life here.
We all know those fairies who fly off and are never on the ground. We also know those people who are so solidly grounded in their earth life that there is no hope for higher spirituality.

We must hold a solid foundation before we can rise up, lest we fall. The deeper our roots go the higher we can fly. That means we must look at the Earthly aspects of our life here. We must do the best we can to correct our ways and live in a way that honors our self and all life. The more we can do that, the more the higher realms will become available to us.

The universe is intelligent. It is not going to give the tetragrammaton to a newborn. It is going to give it to someone who can handle the responsibility.

Likewise, if we are not able to take care of ourselves and live in a way that honors All life, we are not going to be given the keys to the Kingdom. We must get our internal affairs in order first. Then, once we do that, we will be given more and more responsibility, and more power. Because we are showing that we know what to do with it. We will use it responsibly. This is the heart centered way that honors our self and all others in love.

awakening copy

So often at the beginning of our awakening we rise through the crown and end up in a higher world. One that we had no knowledge of before. Then begins the search to put it all together. Spiritual books, meditation, yoga. All of it. And the quest leads us up out of the crown chakra into higher worlds. We want to live there. The quest becomes all but shattering when we realize we that we have to come back and bring it here to Earth.


This begins the inner work. The deep inner work. To right our human life and bring it into alignment with what we know to be true in the higher realms. This requires a lot of forgiveness, patience, and ease because what happens on the Earthly realms is a lot slower than what happens in the heavenly realms.

As we prove more and more that we are willing to do the work to get our lives in alignment, more and more of that power that we’ve seen in the higher realms becomes available to us. The more we use it for love and upliftment, the more we get. This becomes the spiritual journey. We eventually bring heaven onto Earth, and the power that we know is ours in the higher realms becomes fully available to us. We are the living embodiment of Heaven on Earth.

I talk about this like it’s one place and time that it happens, but it’s not. It’s a gradual process, and that process is the purpose of our life here. It is a journey, not a destination. There is always more. So if you want to get to a destination. Get to here. It is the only place you will find true happiness. As you do the work here in the now, you will manifest more of your own heaven on Earth, and the life that you’ve always known is possible for you will become your reality. it all starts with you. Aho Mitakuye Oyasin.




8fd92fe389fba71e45f05085174a06a5.jpegBeing seen is one of the most important things in life for a human being.

It’s so important, yet so many of us don’t get this need met. To be seen by another human being is to let your soul shine. To be seen in all of your darkness and your light. To be loved for who you are. It is the fertile soil to allow a soul to bloom into it’s full potential.

How often do we go about our days not wanting to be seen by others, or to see them truly?

This is a façade that society has built up around us. That it’s not okay to be who we are. That we must be someone else to be okay. That is the dis-ease of humans. No other species in nature doesn’t accept who they are, and tries to be something they’re not.


True community that I have found in ceremony and true spiritual gatherings has taught me the meaning of community. The meaning of being seen.

I have been seen and seen other people more than probably the rest of humanity. I see this as a gift, and I honor it. I try to bring that back to the rest of humanity as much as I can.

However, I still have my blind spots. That’s the place where the work Is to be done for me.


Transparency is a word that rings true deeply for me. Transparency is a goal that I aspire towards. How can I be transparent with others if I’m not fuly transparent with myself? How can I be that if I am still willing to go into a crowded room and change so that I can get you to like me? I become inundated with the energy around me when I don’t know who I am. When I don’t know what my boundaries are. The only way I can find my boundaries is if I know who I am through self work.


This is a soul search. It is not one afternoon, one season, or even one year. It is an ongoing process, that I am continuing to dive into as I live my life. I must be flexible. I must allow life to shape me. And once I find who I am I must hold onto that, but at the same time allow life to show me who I am to become.

Life is all about balance. It is not finding one place and holding fast as the wind blows. I am that wind that blows too. I need to allow it to inform me so that I may grow, and become what I need for the next phase of my life. This process is surrender. To the knowing that I am loved. That life has my best interest at mind. When I listen to it, I know where to go next.


Life purpose is not something that we get to. It’s a way of life. It’s how we live our life in day to day. It’s how we handle things as they arise. We Become our life purpose. It isn’t not a destination. It’s a journey. The sooner we realize that, the more fun the ride becomes.

In heart, and love. From my highest, most integrated self I say Thank you, I love you, I honor you, I am with you, You are family. Aho Mitakuye Oyasin.

Embracing The Shadow


The shadow is the most important part of the spiritual journey.

As a Western culture, many of us have gone our entire lives learning how to not face our shadow. We have covered over our shadow with substances, smiles, and self destructive behaviors.
Once we turn to the spiritual path We realize that we can seek God and not face our shadow in that way.

We must be pure for God to accept us.

But I have news for you. And myself. The shadow is the most holy aspect of our beings. There is purity in every single aspect of our being.

The shadow unexpressed, unintegrated, becomes distorted and turns into all of our negative self harm tendencies.

I want to tell you the story of my shadow.

For the first five years of my spiritual “career” Hah 😛 I owned my shadow. I looked at it in every way I knew how. And I was pretty whole. I was totally unintegrated in society, however. And to be honest, I kind of liked it that way.

Fast forward to five years later, and I was integrating back into society, getting back into school, getting a standup job in society, and so on.

I learned pretty quick, that my past, and my way of being in the world was not accepted by society. At least the breed of society that was coming out of the major university that I was integrating into.

And so I changed.

I disconnected with the very best part of myself. The part of myself that got me out of society, the conditioned self, and got me into the new way of being where I loved myself, who I had become, and appreciated the past that had gotten me there.

I unintegrated with my shadow, and I became who I thought I needed to be in order to be accepted, and liked in this new environment that I was in.

Fuck was that a wrong decision.


I am recovering myself from it now, and forgive me, I’m about to make a blanket statement, and it may or may not be true, but it’s my perception of it.

Society does not like shadow. The whole experience of society is to avoid shadow. Ironically, society feeds us shadow and then tells us not to express it. What a mindfuck and a perpetual loop cycle of not allowing ourselves to be fully here in what it means to be human.

But the bottom line is we have come to change society. We have come to be different than society. And in order to change society we must do other than what society normally does. This starts with accepting our shadow. Loving it. Nurturing it. Giving it a space to be within our being, because it is us. It is who we are. It is who we’ve been. And we are beautiful. Every single part of us. Do you think a tree, that has had a limb cut off says I think I am beautiful, except for that part of me that was cut off, I don’t accept that part of me? No. A tree accepts all of itself, and sees the beauty of all that it is (that is if a tree sees itself through perspective lol.)

And so to with us. To leave any part of ourselves unaccepted is to allow ourselves to fester. To bring ourselves into wholeness, own all that we are, and become sovereign beings who will usher in the new humanity in connection to all things, we must accept and meet and honor our shadow. We must accept all parts of ourselves. For who we are. Love it back into wholeness. And be the best of what we can be with all that we’ve got.

This is the true way to God.

God is everything. And God is love. So why wouldn’t God love all parts of yourself? Love all parts of yourself and bring yourself back into total union and completeness with God.

This is my soul path. I extend and offer it to you as maybe a help on your soul path too.

I love you, and I thank you. And I honor all parts of you as I learn to honor all parts of me.

Aho. Mitakuye Oyasin!



Hi All,

I know I haven’t been posting much on here lately. The life that I have created has become very busy!  I still write for myself though, and share here when I feel called.  This is a short realization that has been materializing for me lately.

One thing I am noticing is that I really do love myself, and I really am cool with being myself. I just have sometimes soaked up other peoples energy who aren’t there yet and identified it as my own. What a realization!

Coming from a place of being highly empathic, which I am sure many of you who are attracted to my writing are, I often take on “stuff” or energies from other people or my surroundings. Often without even realizing it.  I am learning the importance of continually coming back to the body and the breath, as well as allowing the focus of my consciousness to move outward into my surroundings too.  It is a Dance.  In doing this, I become more in touch with myself, and thus it becomes easier to identify what is mine and what is not.

The  importance of knowing that what you are feeling is not your own, is that it makes it so much easier to not take it personally, and just to let it go.  Either way, when we truly understand the why of our more challenging feelings, letting go comes natural.

During this time of auspicious beauty, there is so much energy flowing in. We are all taking it in. It is causing us much bliss along with many pains. The pains are our personal “charges” coming to the surface to be cleared.  Do not take this personally. Write about it, talk about it, whatever you can do to get clarity around it and view it from a place of loving detachment. You are being called to release these old wounds.

This being said, how we direct this new influx of energy is up to us.  The more conscious we become of what is going on within us, as well as what we are putting out into creation in the outer reality, the more we can expand.  As a result of expanding, we can hold more energy, and thus be a greater aid to the shift in consciousness. After all it’s all about energy.

The more energy you hold, the more you will be asked to hold.  When you step up to the plate, and truly surrender, your surrender will be tested.  Not in an cruel way, but in a loving way to push you to go deeper. To love more, to give more, TO RECEIVE MORE.  It’s all related. To truly receive is to give, and vice versa.

It’s up to you how fast we evolve.  We are all in this together, and we don’t ascend until the last one of us ascends.  Help out your fellow man by helping out yourself! In the waves of an awake person, others vibration literally shifts, and we affect all of Creation this way.  Do one kind thing for another each day.  It adds up!

I could go on and on. Honestly, I only intended to write the realization that I noticed that I do truly love myself.  But, as with surrender to Spirit goes, we are often asked to do more. And hey, who could complain when it feels this good!

Peace and Happy Monday 🙂

With Love,




No air to breathe.

Everything Collapses

Around me.

Water rushes past

Current carries me away.

Where hath my companion gone?

Sleeping soundly in his bed.

This flood is within me.

Trapped, in a mirror of confusion.

If only I could understand.

But it’s too late.

I’ve been down this road

One too many times.

So I Let Go.

Of Everything.

I Am Free.




In this process of transformation,
I do not become a god
Rather identifcation moves
From being with
limited ego to
Limitless Being


There is great beauty in innocence. 

Innocence tries.

Innocence believes.

Innocence trusts.

Falling Short

Who knew?

    After all this time,

        you’d still be here. 

My sweet sinful nature

    Deluder of vision

       Bringer of destruction

Oh why do I salute you!


You are that Unknown

You are that Unknown

It’s not so much about experiencing,
As it is just knowing and believing.

We have these experiences of ourselves as oneness, merged with “God”, as the Infinite itself.
We must be true to these.

But nonetheless, acting in a way of knowing and believing oneself to be That, that No-Thing, will purify ones being to where all that remains is the knowing of ones self as That.

We must live this, if we are to be free.

Giving Up

There is no secret formula.

Formulas are “out there”. 


Comically, what is needed,

is the release of all formulas.


Who you are, 

is already Free.

You are Freedom itself.


Release all these limiting concepts

of who you think your self to be.

And find out who you really are,

Only you can See.